Greetings whatever readers I have left.
It sure has been a while.
A strange thing happened to me a few days ago and it inspired me to start writing again. A somewhat insignificant event that has cascaded through my attitude to everything. Like the monkeys in A Space Odyssey, something slowly dawned and then led me to some crazy murderous robot and the meaning of the universe.
I forgot what it is that I love to do because I was too caught up in making sure I didn’t die. I betrayed the Little Prince. I started counting the stars that I owned for the sole purpose of knowing how many belonged to me and how many more I could have.
Upon realising this I kept trying to force myself to write again. It never happened until now.
What I did do was read a blog by a successful, modern author who is rather controversial. I am not naming this author because I do not want to make this personal. I don’t want this to be “this woman is shit and her books are crap”. Instead I wanted to examine why I do not like books that I have never read and never intend to and why characters that I have never experienced irritate me.
When I completed reading this woman’s blog I could only think of one thing to say:
“Bitch, please!”
What this author had done was compare her characters to some literary giants and made hers out to be the better. I may not like all the characters she undercut but they are still good characters. Wuthering Height’s Heathcliffe is pretty fucking amazingly complex even if he is a jerk who only knows how to rage. Romeo is a fucking tool and Juliet started out so promising but then she stabs herself for no reason (sorry forgot the spoiler alert, hope I haven’t given it away to anybody). Even so, there’s something about their parts that give me goosebumps when they are done right. The characters are perfect.
Bitch even dared touch Elizabeth Bennet.
GIRL DID NOT GO THERE.
You do not fucking try to compare anything or anyone to the Elizabeth Bennet.
Remember how we all hate/hated Kiera Knightley so much for butchering the role? She didn’t. I am sure if I watch the movie again now I will actually like it. It’s because our standards were way too high to be upheld twice in 20 years and Jennifer Ehle already smashed her (and Colin Firth smashed Mr Darcy).
I love how I’m deflecting my opinion onto everyone.
Anyway. Enough about amazing characters. On to shit ones.
If people are unaware of what a Mary Stu is, in general terms, it’s a character that’s essentially a projection of the author’s self twisted into their dreams (an anti-sue is an amalgamation of their fears).
The characters will typically be described as well liked except by people who are obvious antagonists (and who are usually jealous) and they always seem to end up being right. They have no flaws, or their flaws are endearing or beneficial
For example:
Being clumsy (flaw).
Being clumsy at times when it’s hilarious because “oh that character’s always SO CLUMSY LOL” – endearing (no longer a real flaw)
Being stubborn (flaw).
Always being right so being stubborn means that even when it’s annoying, it is OK because you end up being right and everyone loves you and your stubborn nature (no longer a real flaw).
In the shall-remain-nameless work mentioned above, the main character is a typical Mary Sue.
If one of the character’s flaws is “she’s unattractive” she should not be named something that basically (both literally and evocatively) means “beautiful woman”.
If one of the character’s flaws is “they are clingy and love too much” they should not be given a relationship early on with another character who’s flaws are “I am too beautiful and it’s a curse and I am clingy and love too much”.
What the fuck even is that?
Where is there even room for character growth?
Having a modern day woman pine after her man and want to kill herself if something would happen to him is not a good image to portray. Not even Catherine was that fucking idiotic, especially not considering the period setting of Wuthering Heights.
Modern books that I may not necessarily have liked, such as the end few novels in the Harry Potter series, still have amazing, strong characters that have a sense of purpose (although some of the newer or minor ones became a bit stagnant they were still all pretty good).
The best example would be young Hermione in Harry Potter. She’s about 17 when the boy she loves leaves and she doesn’t mope around or kill herself. She simply says “oh this is shit but there’s more important things to worry about here”.
I guess the whole misogynist Mary Sue shit is my main issue, not having read the terrible literature in question. I can’t really comment further because of this but I have one final thing to say in the hopes that people who read this idiot’s blog will now learn something.
Sense and Sensibility was not about Marianne Dashwood ending up with Willoughby. If this upsets you please re-read the novel.
Wuthering Heights was not just about Heathcliffe and Cathy being together (or how “evil” Heathcliffe is). I’m trying to grasp this and the novel now and it is hard but I will get there.
Romeo and Juliet is not about the two of them ending up together, or even being “in love”. It’s actually about the fleetingness of life and the pointlessness of love. Please see a theatre production next time it rolls into your town. Even an art house one would work because it would make the themes are lot more obvious and depressing.
Pride and Prejudice is certainly not just about Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy ending up together, even though they do. The ending is probably my least favourite part. You HAVE to read her rejection of Mr Colins. So fucking incredible.
So to try to destroy classic literature, liked or not, by saying “my characters are better because they would kill themselves if the other died” is not a healthy thing to say and certainly not a healthy theme to have circulating to young adults.
This is why when people tell me what books they like and a certain series crops up, I judge them. It’s because they not only helped contribute to the death of modern, young adult literature (especially the sci-fi and fantasy genres) which has been amazing for so long, they have contributed to a poison which is now starting to have repercussions in our classic literary past. That is a fucking shame.
